Some of my favorite songs are Sexist

I listen to a lot of 1950s oldies and teenybopper music, I suppose I like the clean-cut, innocent, “I wanna hold your hand” content. However, a lot of the themes in music have changed throughout the decades, gone are the days of simply just holding someone’s hand, now it’s mostly all about trying to get someone into bed for the night. However, there is one message that has managed to stick around throughout the years and that’s the status of women in regards to relationships.

One of my absolute favorite songs is Wives and Lovers (lyrics/song). It’s an incredibly sexist song that has such a nice jazzy feel to it that almost does make you want to spend all day fixing the house up for your husband. The message in this song is that though you’re now married and no longer a desperate spinster, that doesn’t mean you should give up on appearances and making your man happy. The singer tells women “For wives should always be lovers, too/Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you/I'm warning you.” LADIES! THIS IS A WARNING! DON’T LET YOURSELF GO! THERE IS SUCH A THING AS DIVORCE AND INFIDELITY AND YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT AFRAID TO USE ‘EM!

Some of my favorite musicals also share similar messages regarding relationships. Hello Dolly’s It Takes a Woman (lyrics/song), describes all the tasks and chores that simply only a woman could handle, such as, “To joyously clean out the drain in the sink”, “For washing and blueing and shoeing the mare”, “And it takes a female for setting the table”.  Another example is poor Adelaide from Guys and Dolls, she's pretty fed up with her fiance Nathan, to the point where she decides that marrying him today and changing his ways later is the only solution in her song Marry the Man Today (lyrics/song). She exclaims, “Marry the man today/Rather than sigh in sorrow/Marry the man today/ And change his ways tomorrow”, because when your fiance is stressing you out the only solution is to just put up with it. Better to be married rather than single, right?

Like I mentioned before, this was decades ago, traditional values regarding marriage and courtship have since flown out the window. However, the status of women in relationships is still something that constantly comes up in modern music.

So what makes Bruno Mars’ Just The Way You Are (lyrics/song) different from Wives and Lovers? The language used has evolved drastically. Marriage is no longer a heavy theme in much of today’s music, it’s mostly about dating, though the word “wife” is used, it appears to be a loose reference to girlfriend. Much of modern music appears to be sung by men for women, wives, girlfriends, bitches, hoes, etc. Women aren’t really speaking to other women about relationships anymore. Adelaide isn’t around anymore to tell you to deal with your fiance’s nonsense and worry about changing his behavior later. Instead of being told to put your makeup on to keep your man, Bruno Mars and One Direction are telling women they’re beautiful regardless. That message is much more positive, but that suggests that music has evolved from women telling women how to keep a man to men telling women “no, this is how you keep a man”.

Though there are some empowering songs sung by women to women like Aretha Franklin’s Respect (lyrics/song) and others that bring gender and equality to light like No Doubt’s Just a Girl (lyrics/song) and very rarely a man comes into the mix with something like Tupac’s Keep Ya Head Up (lyrics/song). I had a hard time looking for modern songs that didn’t focus on relationships so much, but discussed or hinted at empowerment, gender, equality, and so on.

Not to completely overlook sexism in music regarding the status of men. Beyonce's If I were a Boy 

(lyrics/song) gives her interpretation of

what she believes her life would be like if she were male instead of female, “Drink beer with the guys/And chase after girls /I’d kick it with who I wanted/And I’d never get confronted for it./Cause they’d stick up for me.” True or untrue? Interpretations of what being a man really means are just as generalized as they are for women. The Cure’s Boys Don’t Cry (lyrics/song) suggests something differently, “I try and/Laugh about it/Hiding the tears in my eyes/'cause boys don't cry/Boys don't cry”.

With that said, are some of your favorite songs incredibly sexist? Are they guilty pleasures because of their message? Do you know any songs regarding the status of men and/or women that don’t focus so much on relationships?